Maybe a month ago I had a unique experience that was of great import. DenMother (aka @lesliedupreez , aka Leslie to her real world friends) myself and delightful lady friend of ours attended a wedding. The fact we were at an event such as a wedding was significant enough, but there was another reason for the occasion to be memorable. As I was sitting in the chapel watching the beautiful couple exchange vows I realized with a jolt that this would be the first wedding I have attended, as an adult, where I would remain stone cold sober.
In the past I looked forward to a wedding as an ideal opportunity to “hit the piss” at someone else’s expense, hook in there with a gusto and enjoy it to the max. Lots of yahooing, crazy dancing (ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine does her thing?), getting into an argument with your own spouse and being driven home. Next day invariably would be the nightmare, sore head, sensitive eyes, breath like a brewery horse’s fart. The whole day wasted as you gingerly began the recovery process, hopefully knocking over a cold one by lunch time, thereby being in proper nick by dinner!
Most people who know me are aware that I have been on the wagon now for some time. I know exactly how long, 4 years as of Melbourne Cup Day 2010.
Wow! The changes, tears and pain that have been expended during that period are difficult to explain. Still, 4 years later here I am, in one piece, feeling pretty good for someone who’s leaped over the 50 year barrier, in reasonable nick and hopefully will be so for quite some time to come.
People are wary, with good reason, of those that beat drums of various tones, be it religious, political, anti-smoking or tee totaling. I honestly don’t think I have stood in the way of anyone’s enjoyment of alcohol during my ongoing abstinence although it’s hard being in the company of people who are drinking when you are afflicted by the demon of alcohol addiction. The smell is incredibly distinctive, I can smell an open can or bottle a mile away and to me now it is plain horrible.
What’s the point of these musings? Good question!
Maybe it’s a crazy online version of AA, acknowledge my weakness, shore up my spirit and hope that someone may gain from hearing my little tale of woe. In fact I did attend a few meetings of AA and a more confronting experience I have yet to come across. Having said that, I stopped going after a while, somehow I managed under my own will power, something that many in AA say can’t be done.
What I do know though is that without my loving partner, the aforementioned Den Mother, I would never have embarked on this radical journey, let alone stick it out! I needed an impetus to get rolling and loving support to keep the momentum going. It was tough, it was nasty, but we got there in the end!
Since being able to stand back and observe, I do believe that alcohol has Australian society firmly in its grip, particularly the young. There are powerful alcohol industry lobby groups pressuring governments to make consumption of this evil chemical easier to obtain over a greater time span, In the name of all that’s holy, why does a pub or club need to be serving intoxicating beverages at 3am or later?
Something really needs to be done and done fast! Sadly, I don't think it ever will.
Reflecting on my own journey I have to say to Leslie, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To those who are able to drink with restraint and in moderation, I take my hat off to you!
In the past I looked forward to a wedding as an ideal opportunity to “hit the piss” at someone else’s expense, hook in there with a gusto and enjoy it to the max. Lots of yahooing, crazy dancing (ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine does her thing?), getting into an argument with your own spouse and being driven home. Next day invariably would be the nightmare, sore head, sensitive eyes, breath like a brewery horse’s fart. The whole day wasted as you gingerly began the recovery process, hopefully knocking over a cold one by lunch time, thereby being in proper nick by dinner!
Most people who know me are aware that I have been on the wagon now for some time. I know exactly how long, 4 years as of Melbourne Cup Day 2010.
Wow! The changes, tears and pain that have been expended during that period are difficult to explain. Still, 4 years later here I am, in one piece, feeling pretty good for someone who’s leaped over the 50 year barrier, in reasonable nick and hopefully will be so for quite some time to come.
People are wary, with good reason, of those that beat drums of various tones, be it religious, political, anti-smoking or tee totaling. I honestly don’t think I have stood in the way of anyone’s enjoyment of alcohol during my ongoing abstinence although it’s hard being in the company of people who are drinking when you are afflicted by the demon of alcohol addiction. The smell is incredibly distinctive, I can smell an open can or bottle a mile away and to me now it is plain horrible.
What’s the point of these musings? Good question!
Maybe it’s a crazy online version of AA, acknowledge my weakness, shore up my spirit and hope that someone may gain from hearing my little tale of woe. In fact I did attend a few meetings of AA and a more confronting experience I have yet to come across. Having said that, I stopped going after a while, somehow I managed under my own will power, something that many in AA say can’t be done.
What I do know though is that without my loving partner, the aforementioned Den Mother, I would never have embarked on this radical journey, let alone stick it out! I needed an impetus to get rolling and loving support to keep the momentum going. It was tough, it was nasty, but we got there in the end!
Since being able to stand back and observe, I do believe that alcohol has Australian society firmly in its grip, particularly the young. There are powerful alcohol industry lobby groups pressuring governments to make consumption of this evil chemical easier to obtain over a greater time span, In the name of all that’s holy, why does a pub or club need to be serving intoxicating beverages at 3am or later?
Something really needs to be done and done fast! Sadly, I don't think it ever will.
Reflecting on my own journey I have to say to Leslie, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To those who are able to drink with restraint and in moderation, I take my hat off to you!
wonderful entry, pedro. thank you. (this be elizabeth's online alter-ego, in library-glory)
ReplyDeleteThanks Veritas, that is nice of you to say that.
ReplyDeleteBaby you brought me to tears. I did nothing but hold you hand and watch amazed as I saw you grow from strength to strength. Not only did you give up alcohol but you quit fags at the same time. I will admit it wasn't easy and there were times I wondered if it would not have been better to just have let you drink. But it was a choice you made and one I am so incredibly proud of, you never fail to amaze me with the strength you have. There are very few people that have been able to over come what you have. I love you with all my heart. I will always be by your side and offer you as much as I can in the way of support and love. You are a brave man and one of the strongest I know. I am grateful you are in my life. Love you always xoxo
ReplyDeleteIf you hadn't given me the kick in the pants at the begining I'd have never done it Leslie. Love you!
ReplyDeleteBeing a fellow teetotaller (1 year), I related to that post greatly Pedro. Well done and thanks.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Dave! The only thing you can do is just hang in there! 1 year is good!
ReplyDelete