Utes, Aerials, Lights & Mudflaps - An Unholy Combo

Let me confess ... I drive a ute and I wear (some) RM Williams clothes.

I’m considering forsaking these idiosyncrasies due to a cringe inducing phenomenon that assaults all facets of public good taste. I refer to what I believe is called the BNS Ute (see pic, example only).

Yesterday, returning from my rage inducing visit to Toys R Us (see earlier whinge on this blog) I came across one of the aforementioned monstrosities heading along Majura Road toward Canberra.

This beast was the father-of-all-utes, oversized RM Williams logo on the back window, triple RM Williams mudflaps (one for each wheel and one huge one in the middle), and a plethora of BNS stickers. The bad taste continued, two monster HF whip aerials that wouldn’t look out of place on a warship, a rack of massive spotlights on the roof and when I pulled up at the next set of lights I noticed a bullbar that could have been sourced from one of those armoured fighting vehicles you see being used to bust up Muslim terrorist strongholds in Afghanistan.

I accelerated smartly away, leaving him in my wake. After all, my bog standard VZ SV6 is much more nimble than something carting half a tonne of surplus military hardware. I just needed to get to a happy place, a place of good taste.

There are only a few things I don’t understand. Women, opera and economics have eluded me for years, now I can add this to the list. What is the need? Do these people (believe it or not some are girls!) work or live in areas so remote as to need HF radio? Do they drive around in feral camel territory? Do they need to see things as far away as the next planet?

If anyone can shed light (low beam only please) by all means let me know!

Gotta run, dumping my RM Williams stuff in the Salvo bin and I’ll trade the ute for a wagaon.