Something happened at the markets

There I was yesterday afternoon, walking through the Chinese market down near Darling Harbour (Sydney).

As I came down a set of stairs I looked up and there it was - Jesus smiling at me - his face shining across several rows of stalls. I was awed by the brightness of this manifestation.

I couldn't help it, I was drawn toward Our Saviour, I hurried hence to the source of my rapture. Rounding the corner I came face to face with the Son of Man, albeit in the form of a painting. Lo and behold! A stand that sells garish religious trinkets and paintings, appalling taste abounded in every direction. I'm not a religious man but I still felt vaguely violated by this blasphemy.

I'm kind of worried, maybe it's a message. I've thought I had been called to the cloth once in the past, that was via a dream This was a vision, a physical manifestation.

I'm prepared to follow that call, just one more divine message and that's it. I give in! 

#auspol My job app - Media Advisor, PM's Office

Dear Ms Gillard.

Judging by media reports of a certain recent event one doesn't need to be real clever to get a high paying job on your personal staff so I'm applying to once again serve my nation in its moment of crisis. Word around the traps is there's a possie going in your office as a media advisor (junior grade).

In my favour, we share a couple of common bonds. I live in a defacto relationship with a person of the opposite sex and I have no religious beliefs or affiliations. I am not a fan of Kevin07.

I was always bought up with the concept that it was impolite to blow one's own trumpet but I know I'd be running with the "big boys/girls" so I shall briefly outline what I consider to be my best attributes.

I'm not a rocket scientist but I'm not a total moron either. I'm not young or trendy and I don't have some silly arts degree (I sucked at painting and drawing but am a dab hand at cutting stuff out and pasting in little boxes). I rarely go to Manuka but I can learn the ropes when the rest of the team rock on down for their lattes and after work chardies. I have short hair and my personal standards and beliefs are very much based in the 60s, 70s and 80s when people were generally honest, hard working and genuine. I am an ex-serviceman so I have strong personal attachments to duty, courage, team work and hard living (not that the later will be an issue in Canberra).

I'm not a guru on the nitty-gritty of the every day machinations of government but that obviously isn't a requirement for this position.

I currently live outside the six state capitals or the national capital (apologies to Darwin, I love Darwin!). I know your team would disbelieve that a large percentage of people live away from Toorak Vic, Double Bay NSW, Forrest ACT, North Adelaide SA, Bulimba Qld or Peppermint Grove WA but that's the way I roll. I am a man of the people.

Anything non-metro is where the "wild things" lurk but I am well house trained and look pretty nifty in a suit. I must confess that I shop at Saunders Menswear of Ulladulla (that's located on the south coast of NSW, Ms Gash is my local member and she rocks!) but you'd need to look hard at my threads to tell the difference with one from Zink & Sons, Bespoke Tailors of Darlinghurst.I hope none of this will go against me.

In view of the financially desperate times the country is facing I'm going to offer my servies for a song, probably under the $100K mark. Having said that we must bear in mind that you, me and the rest of the team will be on the dole queue in around 12 months so I wouldn't consider anything less that $80K. You have to make hay while the sun shines! Oh, by the way, if you could put a corporate credit card in my salary package, one like the HSU gives to their high fliers, then I'd be all yours.

In closing, I promise not to shoot anyone in the foot.

I'm standing by my letterbox waiting for the paperwork.

I remain, ma'am, your obedient servant.

Pedro.

#POTUSinOZ - Obama visit to Oz - #auspol

Don't you think that Mr Obama's visit to these fair shores mid last week was a resounding success?

I had a very, very minor footsoldier role when Bush The Younger paid his bossom buddy John "Deputy Dawg" Howard a visit in 2003. People came out of the woodwork to jeer, heckle and generally show their displeasure. He wasn't liked! At least that's the feeling I got at the time! If only someone had pelted a shoe or two! None of that this time though. Smiles, happiness, birds singing, kisses all round.

It doesn't hurt that Mr Obama presents well. Fit, tall, slim, not unattractive, youngish, obvsiously smart and with a certain cool flair. I'd be happy if he decided to emigrate, become an Australian citizen and take on the post of the first President of the Republic of Australia.

Kind of gets me thinking though. Why are Americans so unimpressed with him? I just don't get it. The policies he's trying to introduce in the States are conservative by our standards yet a lot of his countrymen/women think he's the thin edge of the commie wedge.

Isn't the world an odd place!

@ACTPolicing - A Small Whinge. #Canberra

Before I kick off, let me state that I have the utmost respect for the AFP's ACT Policing. A finer body of law enforcing men and women couldn't be found anywhere.

Every now and then though I pause and wonder at the oddities that you come across dealing with officialdom. All part of the rich tapestry of life as my mum would say.

I had cause to phone ACT Police Operations yesterday. I'd just handled an unpleasant situation out in bohemian, cosmopolitan Fyshwick with a young bloke who had threatened me and my property.

My decision to report the incident to police was partly brought about because the idiot felt compelled to tell me "my dad's a copper and he'll come around and bash you!" I retorted "Okay, let's ring him up here and now and bring it on!" Dipstick responds "He's on duty".

Now not for one minute do I think Federal Police officers go around bashing people on the say-so of their kids or anyone else for that matter. ACTPol is justifiably proud of their integrity! What had me concerned was this clown (literally he looked like Sideshow Bob) using the police connection and also the chance he (the kid) would return later and do damage to vehicles as he had indicated he would. Maybe it would be useful intel for ACTPol. All the little pieces go to make up the jigsaw afterall.

So I ring 131 444 and explain my story to the nice woman who answered. It's a pretty low-key event and not really of any significance other than I wanted to get the details on the record. I didn't expect action or attendance.

What miffed me though was the officer's claim that coppers kids wouldn't do this kind of thing! I thought WTF! How can you be so sure? Most likely his dad wasn't a cop. Maybe he was. We don't know. How can you be so dismissive of the idea? Not all coppers kids are angels, they're like any other kids - good, bad or in between. I didn't debate the matter. My bit was done, use the info or don't use it, I'll never know the difference.

The best outcome of this is I can eliminate one small group of individuals in the community to worry about. Coppers kids. And that's the way it should be!

At Home With Julia - Let's Lighten Up #auspol

Watched the last of ABC TV's At Home With Julia on our funky TiVo. You know, the episode that caused a fuss in conservative circles such as the RSL, ex-service groups et al. There was a scene that apparently desecrated our national flag.

I don't understand why this show has been panned and ridiculed, I found myself convulsing on the couch whilst my beloved partner looked on worriedly.

The confusion over Tim's proposal of marriage to Julia and her announcement of his appointment to the public service as Captain Tim - Mr Headlice was priceless.

Different strokes for different folks I guess, although I feel we really should stop being so damned serious. Let's lighten up!

A Grateful Nation Salutes Problem Gamblers #auspol

I've been following the current hoopla surrounding Andrew Wilkie's proposed law regarding mandatory pre-commitment technology on poker machines.

As time passes I'm becoming more sickened by the arguments being pushed by the clubs, pubs and casinos.

If you listen to these worthy institutions, you'd be under the impression that the world as we know it will come crashing down. Grants to community organisations will cease, facilities in clubs will suffer, some clubs may well close.

Taking this argument to its logical conclusion, it's obvious that problem gamblers are all that lays between club viability and disaster.

Thank you problem gamblers! What a selfless bunch you are. Thanks to your wages, home, savings and/or family the rest of us can enjoy a nice cheap Surf'n'Turf in the club bistro and knock back icy cold cheap beer. We can kick back and watch a Neil Diamond look-alike perform in the club auditorium and our kids can play footy in the strip so kindly provided as a gesture toward community spirit.

I don't drink alcohol but I shall raise a nice dewy schooner of coke in your general direction!

What kind of madness has overcome us, petals? To actively promote the evils of gambling as some kind of indispensible benefit to the community is plain wrong on so many fronts. If our coummunity is so dependant on the money sourced from those poor souls with this dreadful affliction then it is a sick society.

I can't even guess the outcome of this particular issue, as we all know it could bring about the fall of the Gillard government. On second thoughts, that's probably not such a bad idea!

As always, my thoughts.

Let's bring the Running of the Bulls to Canberra!

I noticed on the Twitter feeds that a bronzed Son of Anzac had managed to get himself skewered by El Toro during the Running of the Bulls in Spain.

My first thought was ... "What a frigging idiot! You get what you deserve!"

My second thought was to question how Australians have managed to become such a molly-coddled, politically correct nation of nancy-boys and girls and how nothing like this could occur here, not in a million years!

Let's imagine for one second that some entrepreneur wanted to stage our very own Running of the Bulls in the national capital. On a lazy Sunday in summer it was envisaged that several bulls would be let loose down Bunda Street preceded by any number of idiots that were left over from the previous night's drunken brawls in and around the shit-holes that pass for night clubs in Canberra. The entrepreneur was hoping to replicate the real deal by having no real safety precautions, the crazy, gabbling crowd could mill around anywhere they felt like it. In essence, it would be a right royal circus and a shit fight!

Sounds crazy, sounds dangerous, sounds like an awesome tourist draw card.

Then the Fun Police descend. It would be howled down by animal welfare groups. Feminists would object because it precluded female participation. ACT Government OH&S inspectors would be all over it. The ACT Government, infested with lefties and greenies, would go ballistic. Insurance companies would refuse to cover it. Police would be upset at the traffic disruption and behaviour of the crowds. Church groups would be aghast. Arty-farty citizens of inner north and south would be whining because they couldn't attend their usual city street coffee shops, The National Capital Authority would be belly-aching because it bought colour and vibrancy to the city centre.

I've only just scratched the surface ... it just wouldn't happen.

Once upon a time there were two events held in Canberra which bought life and colour to the place. These were Summernats and the Canberra 400 V8 Supercars. Only Summernats survives. The Canberra 400 was driven from town by the PC wankers of the local ALP supported by the NIMBYs of inner south Canberra. I'm not a fan of motor sport but these two events DID bring people to Canberra. True, they weren't the types you'd see breathlessly wandering the National Gallery or hanging out at the National Library. They were your ordinary, average, everyday bogan Aussie from real towns and communities.

What do we currently have as a tourist draw card in the national capital? A bloody flower show! Nanas and Pops come from all over to marvel at the lovely blooms. Arty types fawn over the various works of art. The food and wine lovers gasp at the various offerings. It's as boring as bat-shit. The only other blips on the radar are various exhibitions at the National Gallery when a collection of paintings by some long dead foreign bloke with an unpronounceable name are slung up on the walls. Oh the excitement!

Let's bring the bulls to Canberra.

I'm going to invest in a new pair of runners though.

Peace!

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/breaking-news/pamplona-bull-gores-reckless-australian/story-e6freuyi-1226091106467