Something happened at the markets

There I was yesterday afternoon, walking through the Chinese market down near Darling Harbour (Sydney).

As I came down a set of stairs I looked up and there it was - Jesus smiling at me - his face shining across several rows of stalls. I was awed by the brightness of this manifestation.

I couldn't help it, I was drawn toward Our Saviour, I hurried hence to the source of my rapture. Rounding the corner I came face to face with the Son of Man, albeit in the form of a painting. Lo and behold! A stand that sells garish religious trinkets and paintings, appalling taste abounded in every direction. I'm not a religious man but I still felt vaguely violated by this blasphemy.

I'm kind of worried, maybe it's a message. I've thought I had been called to the cloth once in the past, that was via a dream This was a vision, a physical manifestation.

I'm prepared to follow that call, just one more divine message and that's it. I give in! 

#auspol My job app - Media Advisor, PM's Office

Dear Ms Gillard.

Judging by media reports of a certain recent event one doesn't need to be real clever to get a high paying job on your personal staff so I'm applying to once again serve my nation in its moment of crisis. Word around the traps is there's a possie going in your office as a media advisor (junior grade).

In my favour, we share a couple of common bonds. I live in a defacto relationship with a person of the opposite sex and I have no religious beliefs or affiliations. I am not a fan of Kevin07.

I was always bought up with the concept that it was impolite to blow one's own trumpet but I know I'd be running with the "big boys/girls" so I shall briefly outline what I consider to be my best attributes.

I'm not a rocket scientist but I'm not a total moron either. I'm not young or trendy and I don't have some silly arts degree (I sucked at painting and drawing but am a dab hand at cutting stuff out and pasting in little boxes). I rarely go to Manuka but I can learn the ropes when the rest of the team rock on down for their lattes and after work chardies. I have short hair and my personal standards and beliefs are very much based in the 60s, 70s and 80s when people were generally honest, hard working and genuine. I am an ex-serviceman so I have strong personal attachments to duty, courage, team work and hard living (not that the later will be an issue in Canberra).

I'm not a guru on the nitty-gritty of the every day machinations of government but that obviously isn't a requirement for this position.

I currently live outside the six state capitals or the national capital (apologies to Darwin, I love Darwin!). I know your team would disbelieve that a large percentage of people live away from Toorak Vic, Double Bay NSW, Forrest ACT, North Adelaide SA, Bulimba Qld or Peppermint Grove WA but that's the way I roll. I am a man of the people.

Anything non-metro is where the "wild things" lurk but I am well house trained and look pretty nifty in a suit. I must confess that I shop at Saunders Menswear of Ulladulla (that's located on the south coast of NSW, Ms Gash is my local member and she rocks!) but you'd need to look hard at my threads to tell the difference with one from Zink & Sons, Bespoke Tailors of Darlinghurst.I hope none of this will go against me.

In view of the financially desperate times the country is facing I'm going to offer my servies for a song, probably under the $100K mark. Having said that we must bear in mind that you, me and the rest of the team will be on the dole queue in around 12 months so I wouldn't consider anything less that $80K. You have to make hay while the sun shines! Oh, by the way, if you could put a corporate credit card in my salary package, one like the HSU gives to their high fliers, then I'd be all yours.

In closing, I promise not to shoot anyone in the foot.

I'm standing by my letterbox waiting for the paperwork.

I remain, ma'am, your obedient servant.

Pedro.